So today I asked out a guy named Seth.
Rejection.
I had planned to give him a note, but my friend Connor - who is a very opinionated guy, let me tell ya - said that it was "too third grade." He made me suck it up, walk over to him, and ask him out straight to his face in person. Any other day I would chicken out, but today I rare spark of confidence(my speech teacher that morning actually complimented me on a presentation of a poem.)
So I walk up to Seth and made him scoot away from our group of buddies. Of course, the group being the nosy little pricks they are, still kept an eye to hear Seth's reaction, and it was bad. After I squeaked, 'Will you go out with me?' he began to laugh. LAUGH. I'm standing there awkwardly, cheeks most likely burning with embarrassment, out of my comfort-zone, and he's laughing. He must of thought I was joking until I pathetically said "I'm not...that bad am I?" He says I'm not bad at all, he's just not into me like that. He rather us be friends.
Me being me, I walk over to the desk and cry. It was my first time asking ANYBODY out, ever, and to not only be rejected but laughed at...it's a total stab to my self esteem. I mean after all that's happened with my ex, I just need a new experience, to know there's other relationships outside just the chaos he and I went through. Connor took Seth out into the hall and demanded why he laughed, Seth claimed he was just really nervous. I dunno, I still feel hurt.
My friends gave me hugs. Jason's hugs were the best - god they were the best! When he first came over, my head was down and I stared intently on the floor. I was in the middle of crying, and he jerked my head up with both of his hands on the side of my face. After I whimpered in protest, he embraced me with the longest hug I've ever gotten. Then he, and Connor, did a little jig in front of me singing 'Rape!' through out the time.
I laughed my ass off.
Oh! AND Connor made me play the transvestite role in his modern fairy tale of Hansel and Gretal.
"Children make me so...excited."
Messed up. I know. But funny, really.
I love my friends.
(Oh last Saturday, I went to Rocky Horror Picture Show, hence the title.)